There’s only one free lunch

That helps you through the credit crunch
Sweeping across the nation
It’s called diversification

Come on and sing it

D I Versify

D I Verisfy

Everybody gonna Di

I’m gonna versify

Some folk stash things under the bed
Won’t touch real assets, use cash instead
When inflation returns they’ll lose that bet
And discover thier risk was labelled “regret”

Other’s are lured by the high yield bond
That pays out a big coupon with the wave of a wand
Great for your cashflow till things grind to a halt
And you’re left  a coupon that’s stamped with “default”

D I Versify

D I Verisfy

Everybody gonna Di

I’m gonna verisfy

Then there’s those carefree souls who just care about shares
They run with the bulls but soon meet with the bears
And it is no picnic in this neck of the wood
Where the bear’s are no teddies and your shares are no good.

There’s plenty of ways to get stung in the city
Each boker will sell you their pet strategy
You can load up with wine or invest in a house
You can listen to gurus and bet on their nouse

D I Versify

D I Verisfy

Everybody gonna Di

I’m gonna verisfy

Each of them has its place, one’s as good an another
But unless you get lucky you’ll play the wild rover
And return cap in hand to where you had started
Where you’ll find the largess of your banker departed.

Don’t be fooled by the mongers of portable alpha
They’ll sell you their punts and then giggle with laughter
As you find your funds are corroded by fees
And the only thing certain is you’re down on your knees.

Now listen to me, there’sonly one free lunch
If you want to stay one step ahead of the bunch
Spread your money around, invest in the lot
Give your money to me and I’ll show you what’s what.

I’ll give you a policy called DGF
It’s like owning both teams , the linesman, the ref
Whatever the market , you simply can’t lose
My name’s Bernie Madoff– the one name to choose.

D I Versify

D I Verisfy

Everybody gonna Di

I’m gonna versify