Image via Wikipedia
Following my visit to Hotel Stupid earlier in the month, I am now reporting from Hotel Demented ; aka Jardines de Nivaria – Tenerife.
If Gordon and William want to know what happened to all that tax free cash from UK pensions, they should come here and gaze from Ajede across the ranks of timeshares that dominate the panorama above the beaches of the South West of Tenerife.
Tenerife is Benidorm for the OAPs. Time hasn’t so much stood still but slipped a generation. Here can be found all the things that old people like;- sun,bingo and lots of other old people. Best of all lots of old people who don’t give a damn about being old.
Take the orgasmatronic Jacuzzi at our hotel. The coffin dodgers waddle across the pool to jacuzzi island like Galapagos turtles. They clamber into the hyperventilating bathtub which erupts jets of water from its base with such force that the dodgers are lifted clean off their pegs as they venture into the jacuzzi’s centre. The screams of joy as they find the pleasure of such jets between their legs resonates throughout the complex.
Now I’m all for this kind of thing. I want Britain’s pensioners to be taking the Easyjet to Tenerife and having a damned good time. The OAP’s I’m talking to, on the golf courses, in the bars and in said swimming pool are unanimous in their praise for the UK occupational pension industry. These are the lucky guys and girls who are benefiting from those DB schemes we are closing down and boy are they partying.
I’ve grown to love this demented clientel, the seven nights we’ve been here. Note to Ros Altman – pensioners rock in the pensioners playpen.
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Wondering why Henry seemed to be seeking Scottish national asylum, I checked that reliable source, Wikipedia, to see what’s the difference between the Tenerife flag and the Scottish one:
The difference apparently is that the Scottish Saltire’s field colour is Pantone 300 (azure or sky blue) instead of the Tenerife’s “navy blue” field. In which case there seem to be a lot of darker Tenerife flags (f)lying here in Scotland, but then a lot of Scots do also holiday in the Canaries.
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