You don’t make friends with salad

Saladski nothankski!

I have been telling my Mum since I was four that salad is no good- give me peas and mash and carrots boiled ,roasted even stir-fried but leave those leaves out of it.

Leave cucumbers out of it, tomatoes out of it (except on pizza).

Me and organic vegetables are strangers. I run scared of organic mums buying distorted, discoloured objects  clad in brown  substances claiming to be earth.

Now we know- you don’t make friends with salad

Now we know- Germans despise Spain (‘s cucumbers)

Now we know- Russians boycott European vegetables (hey I thought Russia was European!)

Now we know- organic vegetables are killers

Now we know- I was right, my Mum was wrong and angry organomums at Sainsburys are terrorists.

Related articles

• Killer cucumber: 365 new cases (thesun.co.uk)
• Germany Suspects Spanish Cucumbers in E.coli Scare (first4lawyers.com)
• E.coli outbreak that has killed 16 triggers UK salads warning – Daily Mail (news.google.com)
• Safety at the Salad Bar (everydayhealth.com)
• 15 dead from killer cucumbers (thesun.co.uk)
• 16 dead from killer cucumbers (thesun.co.uk)
• Is it safe to eat salad? (guardian.co.uk)