In a BBC report on Munich Re’s sales party in Budapest in 2007, I discover that the revered reinsurer hired one tart for every five salesmen. Tarts were wrist-banded white,yellow and red depending on their availability and desirability. White banded tarts were reserved for senior management. Girls would be branded after each interraction, notching up to 10 interractions in the evening. An interesting approach to getting feedback.
The BBC stops short of reporting the complex motives of the insurer. For the first time, I can reveal on this blog the true story behind Munich Re‘s HR strategy and how it was implemented through its corporate events team, I have seen a transcript of the meeting that agreed the corporate orgy. It has been translated from its German into English. For the sake of verisimilitude I have re-inserted certain Germanic phrases familiar to the English reader – taken as they are from the captions of Commando magazine and the dialogue of German erotic cinematography.
The Scene; Munich Re’s Hanover Boardroom; the participants, Munich Re’s senior HR and corporate events teams.
Brunhilde von Reeperbahn (HRD); so now ladies we move to operation “shaft the sales schwein”. Here is de plan. Ve deploy ze ladies of no virtue over ze entire front. Se ladies mit de big boobies ve vill call de white ladies. Zey will target zebig boys at ze top, ze yellow and red girls vill target ze lower ranks.
Cluadia von Damned (CFO) ; Ve vill take photos on ze beaches, ve vill take photos in ze bedrooms , ve vill stitch up these filthy pigdogs . Gott und Himmell ve vill make their little winkels into frankfurters.
Assembled lovelies from corporate events “ah das is geil” assorted grunts and so forth.
We are led to believe that the hapless sales force were marched into the Budapest baths where they were set upon by the hired sirens. Powerless to resist their blandishments they were carried into ante-rooms where their every thrust was recorded digitally, downloaded to corporate intranets and used in subsequent weeks, months and years to suppress sales bonuses, expense claims and extravagant behaviour.
Speaking from his Bavarian rest-home , retired sales star Otto de Wonger claimed
Ve had no chance, these Hungarian super vixens came at us like de Valkerie. I blame Herr Clifford. I blame Max Moseley, get me a superinjunction now.
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