Mourinho – The art of the rant

Mourinho handshake

That handshake


Jose Mourinho has put himself in a happy position. No matter how outrageous his contentions, they have a positive impact. The press hang on his every word, the people who buy papers and watch television feel the passion and the circus moves on with new energy and splendour.

The latest rant in which Jose launches the concept of a “campaign against Chelsea” is “special”. Chelsea are detestable on many levels so it is perfectly reasonable to suppose that they are singled out for rough treatment by referees and linesmen, they have a taciturn oligarch in charge, their fans are foul-mouthed oafs and their players included the odious John Terry. On one level, Jose is a Christ like figure atoning for the sins of his world.

The forlorn look of the persecuted martyr is etched into his physiognomy

Crucified by the ref, persecuted by his fellow managers, bearing the sins of the world, a Christ like figure indeed.

But Mourinho is special in other ways. He has learned to turn English from his second language into his primary weapon. Every claim is couched in phrases that resonate because they are not quite right. They are  the opposite of clichés.

“I will go to the referee and wish him a good year and he will be ashamed”

“We cannot clean the book”

It’s all nonsense when you write it down, but Jose delivers his gibberish with such puppy dog plangeancy that we extract his meaning for him. His words do not slide by, like the clichés of his colleagues, they stick.

The Christ like martyr, the semi articulate orator and more than that Jose the pin-up. I have never known a football manager who better understands the value of the supporter’s wife (and increasingly the female supporter).

When I fume against the manipulation of the man in female company, I always get knocked back. Mourinho is so in touch with the female side that us men feel scared to denigrate him. Mourinho the pin-up is the most powerful of his three personas.

Mourinho will carry his burden, will feed his anti-clichés to the press, will seduce his public and the next time Fabregas goes down he will win a sympathy penalty. John Terry has been redeemed by the blood of Jose, the oligarch has been appeased.

But this is to undercook Mourinho’s pudding. The man is clearly a great coach, a great man motivator. He has got Chelsea buzzing as a club and he’s not building for next season. This is the season that Chelsea are to be great – I love the guy for putting his neck on the block. He hated drawing against Southampton, he hates the memory of the one loss this season (Newcastle), every card against his players is a personal insult, the passion is unrelenting.

Why there is nothing to beat a Mourinho rant is because it comes from a man who is at the top of his profession at the peak of his prowess. This second spell with Chelsea is mesmerising. Those of us who use words to influence, can only watch in wonderment as he rants his way inside our heads

morinho -

Mourinho – the way- the truth – the life



About henry tapper

Founder of the Pension PlayPen,, partner of Stella, father of Olly . I am the Pension Plowman
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2 Responses to Mourinho – The art of the rant

  1. George Kirrin says:

    Alex Ferguson did the same in his eight years at Aberdeen. But with good reason: the Scottish football media is Glasgow-centric. Even the Aberdeen public were slow to get behind his teams.

    It also worked – three league titles, four Scottish Cups, one league cup, two European trophies.

    Maurinho’s management skills deserve to be mentioned alongside Ferguson’s, and since Ferguson only won trophies in two countries, arguably Jose’s achievements are the greater of the two.

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