Bez of the Racket of the Lambs – 100 club Oxford St.

A year ago (November 15th 2024), I rode off to Bermondsey with a birthday present for my son from Queen Street in the City. I got 3oo yards across  Southwark Bridge Road and what happened next is a blank (though I am told I was hit from behind my an electric bike).

Apparently I went back to my office in Vestry House and at some point collapsed – was taken to St Thomas’ A&E and finally , early the next morning to Kings College Hospital in Nunhead where I spent the next five weeks recovering my senses.

My son and his girlfriend swapped a birthday evening for an evening and early morning in hospitals, my partner then took over and many readers came to see me when I was in hospital. Thanks to you all.

By coincidence, last week I had an operation on my prostate which appears to have been a success. My bladder has been released to do its job and it’s doing so. My son has another birthday (I don’t know if he reads my blogs – we have a smug silence about them). He was with me in UCH this week – what a credit he is to himself and his partner and our family. I would like to think he will be able to enjoy tonight without me causing more trouble!

Last night – the year ago – I shared a bottle of wine with my partner – maybe more. It was the last alcohol that has touched my lips and now I can celebrate a year off the hooch. I recommend it for those who feel they drink too much (you probably do- I did) but I don’t think we should all stop drinking – far from it! I knew I was in trouble when I got out of Kings, that I had been privilidged with an escape and that I wasn’t going to take chances. I had had no drinks for 36 days and felt ok.

I have episodes when my brain scrambles and I can’t put words together, where I can’t even get sounds out of my throat and I just sit mute. I had one with Chris and Katrin Sier last month with them in hospital. Chris knew that I was with him as he lay dying and we did some smiling and I did some listening. I am having more treatment but in the meantime I will not take chances, won’t drive and will be careful with responsibilities to myself and others.

I owe the NHS a lot and I dedicate this blog  and my abstinence to them! I am proud to have an invitation to Chris’ memorial service on December 1st. Katrin has put up a site to explain. This blog is also for Katrin Sier and her family.

This blog is my diary and I hope that diaries are an opportunity to share thoughts. Many people keep themselves to themselves (introvert). I am extrovert, my experiences shape my thinking and writing allows me to make sense of what is going on neurologically. Earlier this year I did a series of lengthy sessions with David Butcher to allow me to listen to inner thoughts through meditation. I am not David’s agent but if you are prepared to pay him properly, I promise you it is worth it. I am going into the Royal London hospital in December to get  my episodes dealt with, thanks to Gregg from Homerton for the help he gave me this summer learning how to put contacts together in my brain.

I still call hospitals “hotels” however! I cannot stop making that mistake and it’s stopped being funny. But David Butcher’s sessions have given me an inner calmness about my foibles which makes it easier. From brain dead to mindful, maybe not?

Brain dead was what the people at St Thomas’ hospital thought me a year ago. My partner was told that there was a slim chance of me getting back to normal and I don’t think I did. I think something has happened to me because of what occurred inside my head and I’m not sure it’s for the better or the worse- just a change.

My partner has had a terrible time but her dedication when I was in hospital and since has made us closer, closed wounds in our relationship, made us happier with each other (over 25 years we have learned to live with each other). We have God , the same God looking after us and we know it.

Thanks for staying with me as I write this , early on a Saturday morning. I write quickly and my thoughts aren’t planned. This blog is a very happy blog indeed and I hope that you have taken some of my warmth I have for those I know to your heart!

On the way home – a wet Saturday passing Taplow.