I received early this morning this audit from the NHS on a healthcare bingo board. Over the past five years I’ve nearly died from a number of things and I’m delighted that “My Chart is Epic”, allows me to “remove” them if I so choose. I think my complete line has won me the jackpot – life!
If you don’t have “My Chart is Epic” on your phone, download it now. You’ll find out how you are doing in the healthcare bingo and you may discover what is on the horizon. I found this information about me when I woke this morning – it really looked like a healthcare miracle – especially as I feel fine!
I don’t know how this game of health bingo plays out but I think I’ve won a couple of days in hospital and an operation to remove part of me. I won it in exchange for getting three health issues line up with a fourth one “historic“. (I lost my kidney after being tackled by Marcus Rose, the then England full-back in 1983 (Selwyn v Magdalen cuppers). I had a few weeks in Addenbrookes hospital and the rest of term in the College Sanitorium).
How do they remember that? It gives me hope for the pension dashboard!
Action time!
But now it’s operation time and I’m given an awful lot to do to get ready. Without the app how could I have got organised!
My app has bleeped to me “no more to eat” – I’ve had my last food at 6 am, no more to drink in two hours time, it keeps butting in when I’m doing other things, it’s like having a nurse in your home – one long conversation,
The great thing about healthcare conversations is that they are remain on my healthcare app. They are always getting refreshed, when will it stop (gulp – don’t want to think of that).
I of course don’t know what all this surgery talks means but I am told that today could lead to an even more exciting operation where the neurologists and urologists get together.
Mr Mazzon is a nice man, he’s suggested I could go private but the 6 months since we last met have flown by. Now it’s down to the Electrotome (what’s that?).
If today is ok , if the prostate gets out the way , a bladder pacer can be installed inside me – to mimic the brain , and get me peeing again – all on my own! That will be in another six months time, so I am praying that my bladder will stop being lazy and start to pulsate again this afternoon – fat chance – lazy bastard bladder.
On the brighter side, I am very pleased to know I’m in good hands, even if I have no idea what the hands will be doing. I will be “out for the count” for the middle part of the day and hope to wake to the beaming smile of my nurses and hopefully Tapper junior!
Don’t worry, I am told it is like a long lunch break and it is my birthday so that’s ok.
This wasn’t how Paul McCartney predicted getting to 64 would be but as I was born at 11 am on the 11th of November 1961 , I think this blog updates the song my way!
Here’s the original
What Paul & Co could not have predicted was just how everything in this blog was brought to me by a telephone. But it was! I had my 6th birthday in 1967, ironically I fell out of my mother’s car that day and spent some time in Shaftesbury A&E before my party in the afternoon.
Some things don’t change – the NHS are always there to help you out. Mr Mazzon and the team – see you soon!
