I am gong for a hat-rick of socially cranky posts this morning and everywhere I go to get material to warm the nails of my fingers I find new crankiness. How about this?

To rob the rich and not so rich, American outfits see Britain as a good market. JP Morgan buy Nutmeg, close it down and will relaunch as an online broker.

Robinhood will undercut Hargreaves Lansdown and AJ Bell to help those who insist on taking on the markets from their laptops, which bring us to the story of the Selfie.

The Selfie would undercut Robinhood but it will take you a £500 pa subscription. Read IPE to find out about the Selfie (unless you read this blog).

The trouble is that neither story quite does the social porn requirement ( to waste my time with celebrities)/

I’ve decided the race has got to the bottom on this – social porn!  If that’s where I’m going , I want to go up to the top and you can’t go much higher than the gold market.

Toby Nangle , who seems to have written this Alphaville article has observed all the rules of Social Porn, that I have been founding and commentating about.

The article explains how Elton John’s patina have been removed and cast in gold for a celebrity to wear. It contains all the requirements of social porn – celebrities and a means to waste our time.

Having far too much and no confidence in the world to keep itself sane, the rich have driven the gold price sky high.

I’m not sure that Toby is convinced that this is a long-term strategic purpose. but he enjoys the video of how Elton got talismanic objects out of his knees.

I suspect that Toby, like me , would like to dabble with social porn because Alphaville is just so hard to follow and readers so inattentive. Even Toby has to admit defeat some Saturday mornings. He does offer us a little targeted support and I hope stays the right side of the boundaries.

Is gold in a bubble? We don’t know. But some of the content put out by the World Gold Council — an organisation consisting of 31 gold mining members, whose mission is to pump up the gold price serve the gold market and its participants — is beginning to look a little . . . frothy?

But he can’t quite end like that , he reminds us

After having his patellas removed, Elton John has had them baked and turned into jewellery. On the back of the necklace, made from his right kneecap, is inscribed in Latin “I will no longer bow to any man”