Henry
It is not often that I am caught off my guard but yesterday was one such time. I thought that I was making progress towards a goal which will be of much value to those who want the security and benefit of investment that you get from pensions.
Much work is needed yet but we are determined and working as a group. You can imagine my determination and my love for the people I’m working with and for.
But it is not always possible to keep the focus when it’s needed. I allowed the conversation at an important meeting to be subverted and the result was chaos. I was supposed to be leading a meeting of 12 people but I found myself humiliated by one person who I had thought was on my side.
I found myself close to tears, I had to leave the Teams meeting as I was struggling with breathing. I tried to speak with people but they suggested I speak with them in the morning. I had to put distance between the experience and where I was
I got a train and left my flat . I went to a friends house and there I tried to go to sleep. I didn’t do very well, no sleep past 1pm.
My friend found me awake at 3 am (I was seething with frustration) We ended up chatting till 4.30 am came up. I went back to my computer to work (starting reading the thoughts of one of my actuarial friends which had been left on comments). You can read Byron’s thoughts here.
I saw a text wondering if I was ill. It was from the person I have done most free work since Christmas. His company claims to be caring of me.
Some bright spark had thought that it might be a good idea to send me to have a medical. I turned again to the invitation. I’d waited a few days for this medical invitation. It turned out that my “medical” meant me answering some questions at a distinct time in the future. The company that I was supposed to be a contract worker wanted to show they had done the right thing.
Clearly it is becoming a clever thing to sympathise with people who have been ill. But sympathy enables people to conclude they are better able to call things than the guy whose had problems with a brain haemorrhage (or in my case two).
So it’s my own self belief that can keep me going. As I write , I am staring across the Thames wondering whether to go back to the City. Am I just that creepy guy who had a bike accident and is no good any more? Should we get our medical to use a computer to retire him?
I work over ten hours a day, and I’ve been working 7 days a week recently. I’ve built a team around me, we all know what we are doing , who we are doing this for and we will make it.
And yet, two and a half months after the accident and a month after leaving hospital, I find myself without a job, or a contract and facing some questionnaire to see whether I can work again. I wonder if this is for real, I’ll find out this morning when I phone them back (or should I text?)
Good afternoon, we have been contacted by your employer to arrange a telephone assessment with you and one our occupational nurses. Was you aware of this? If so we do have availability on the below dates and times, Wednesday 5th February and Thursday 6th February If you could let me know by calling back or replying to this text so we can get you booked in. Kind regards Sarah Morrison at healthier workforce – please be aware I don’t look at this phone after 5pm (received @4,44pm)
I am not employed, I am not paid – nor is a consultancy company (I don’t have one), . I am not an employee as Sarah assumes I am. I am simply an unpaid worker.
Having been given a 20% chance of survival in mid November, I am doing my best in late January, will a questionnaire with an occupational nurse. “Was you aware of this” comes the question, If “you” was, we can fit you in on either 5th or 6th In the meantime this texter has no advice for me on my health and my work.
This texter claims to be Sarah Morrison, she works for “healthier workforce”. Is this really how you should treat people whose health is in doubt? Thanks for the text Sarah, I got it at 4.44pm “please be aware that I don’t look at this phone after 5pm” leaves me to work out what to do as I didn’t check my mail to past 5pm.
Perhaps the firm is this one
I suspect that illness is now considered manageable so long as a “healthier work” questionnaire has been undertaken.
I don’t want a firm that manages my mental well-being this way. Nor do I want to work for a firm who considers that this kind of bureaucracy helps the worker. Thanks but I have the NHS who are doing a great job.
I am sure I will find a way forward. I know you aren’t supposed to say how you are feeling. But I am tired and I need support.
Thanks for reading. If you want to cheer me up, put a comment at the end of this blog or email me at henry@agewage.com, I need to get through January!
Henry,
We do need you!
The first thing I personally do when I get up each morning (a lot later than you – I am a bit of a night owl) is to open my inbox and read and think about your blogs. It is obvious to me that you have been recovering well from your November accident, however from personal experience (fortunately from a much less serious low point) there are always blips and set backs along the way.
Being caught off guard by the unexpected and / or the feeling of being let down by a friend or colleague happens to us all. The feeling of failure to cope and worthlessness it is part of your. recovering, illness and you should ascribe it to that. As the symptoms of your bleeds recede, your feelings arising from such events should also diminish over time. In the meantime do not doubt your abilities and your recovery.
Whether you take up the session with Healthier Workforce is up to you, but I do hope you will advise you will not be available at lunchtime on the 5th February. Social interaction with friends and colleagues is regarded as an important aid to your recovery. The other email in my inbox this morning was a link to a US medical article on the increased loneliness suffered by doctors, caused by high workloads and a lack of social interaction with both patients and colleagues – and that therein lies the cure.
Banish these January blues! We might have much to do after today.
Agreed with PensionOldie. I’ve never known a person with such drive and prolific output as you Henry. It’s quite frankly a miracle that you are back at ‘work’, and as a friend I’m worried about 10 hour days so early in your recovery! Mornings only !
Your input and drive has been fundamental to the progress our community (indeed “your community”) has made in trying to turn around this dis-investing dis-invested pension ecosystem, with the twin objectives of nurturing our economy and seeking to provide working people with a dignified living in retirement, and we all truly appreciate you, more than you will understand. But even Henry Taper has limits on health and energy, especially now.
Personally, I’d take the offer of the health check (goodness knows we all could do with one), and find more time to heal. Please. Wherever it has come from, I’m sure it was with good heart. The pensions world moves at its own pace, and it will be waiting for you when you’ve rested.
We need you. But you and your family need you more.
Hello Henry,
As usual jnamdoc has immediatly put his finger on the right ‘button’ and has put succintly what we all feel i.e. that Stella, Ollie etc need you far more.
Othewise I feel that you have answered your own problem in the above blog:
– ‘…I found myself humiliated by one person who I had thought was on my side’
You have obviously slipped up here with that oversight.
– ‘My friend found me awake at 3 am…etc…’
– ‘I work over ten hours a day, and I’ve been working 7 days a week recently. I’ve built a team around me, we all know what we are doing , who we are doing this for and we will make it’
Yet you’ve also told us ‘Having been given a 20% chance of survival in mid November…’ (eight weeks ago)
Regardless of whatever you choose to do with the medical checkup offer, I would have thought you were still under Kings College Hospital as an outpatient? I strongly doubt that they will have discharged you with the advice that the best route to a healthy recovery was to work 24/7 at 10 hours a day plus. In fact, I would be very surprised if they didn’t criticize you for it and give you a strong warning of what you were setting yourself up for. After all, the Maudseley Hospital have no shortage of Patients in from the City.
Yes, we all missed your blogs when you went unexpectedly silent. No, we wouldn’t mind if you reduced them because you were having time for yourself and Family. Overall we would find it particularly ironic, you having worked so hard for everyone to enjoy their pension etc if you didn’t see yours…!
Kind regards,
Tim Simpson
Henry
You are loved by many of your frends and there are more friends than you currently imagine.
It is understandable that you are sensitive and upset given the recent life theatening accident.
You have a good team around you so give yourself time to recover and let the team take some of your load.
John
The mood is changing. So much of what you have been working for is now likely to happen and you will play a key role.
Best wishes
Henry,
Echoing the sage comments above, you have many friends who are concerned about you. We want you returned to a full picture of health and vigour. . We can’t tell you how to get better but I do know from personal experience your body has wonderful recuperative powers but it needs rest and the avoidance of over tiredness. Only you can decide when to rest and when to work, but 10 hour days 7 days a week does not bode well for an event free recovery. You need time to fully recuperate, and I believe everyone that knows you, want you to find that time for yourself. You have done remarkably well so far.
Henry, you have always been a good friend to so many people. Keep your very humour. jq
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Henry I am sorry to read this.
I read (nearly) all your blog posts (the ones I can understand, not being a pensions professional) with enjoyment. Your championing of proper pensions – rather than DC pots – is a very important voice on behalf of the less well off who really need them.