I walked out of the neuro department at Kings College Hospital and took a 40 bus to Blackfriars with my partner who , along with my son and his girlfriend got me through the first 7 days when I was close to losing touch with sense-making and perhaps my will to live. My friends who have visited, contracted and encouraged me to get back on my feet can be acknowledged, but I know that many good people weren’t informed and will be reading about this for the first time,

Let me lay it out flat. I walked out of my ward with a different attitude to others and myself. My attitude to myself is that my attitude and behaviour needs to change. I need to be more like the people who provided me with support. This means acknowledging that I am too  arrogant and assertive and should put forward the needs of others over myself. There are people who were so kind to me on the ward, mostly nurses but also occupational theorists. I have tears in my eyes thinking of what they gave me and other patients who were in states of discombobulation.

I know the email of one lady and hope that she will be able to spread my gratitude to all who helped me, whether front up or behind the doors. I loved the food, the impact of the drugs, the help clearing my bowels and most of all that both men and women were happy to hug me or just shake my hand.

This is something that cannot be bought, it is created by a proper system powered by pride that the job can be done to its best.

These people deserve our help whether they are rich or poor by a system that rewards once their work is over and they are ready to stop work. I think we think too much of tax issues when we think of NHS pensions, we should be thinking of regarding everyone as equal in terms of reward.

If I could help make the lot of all NHS workers with the hope of a decent pension  ahead, I would try to help in a simple way. In 2025 we will give low-earners their incentive to save back to them, even if they don’t earn enough to pay tax. This was achieved through the work of a group that was full of senior people including Baronesses and Lords as well as tax specialists. They are solving the problem for the future, I hope that the people who benefit in 2025 will better understand the value of pension saving into the NHS and pay where possible to get a better retirement for them and their family.

You will be reading a poor style of blog from me. I am about 70% to the level of physical and  mental ability that I was on November 14th. I hope that you recognise that the person who re-emerges will be a little more humble and more respectful of those who support him. That includes actuaries and Tesco stoor souls. People are equally valuable whether they are sick or healthy and ultimately the religious attitude of those who helped me has reinforced my understanding of the importance of spirituality.

Thanks to you for reading this far , thanks to my immediate team who got me to Kings College Hospital and thanks to the NHS at its very best on the 9th floor where those with skill and tenacity to make things better, can be found!

The doctor who announced yesterday lunch, that I could leave , left me with this thought, if you believe you will be stronger then you will be , because you will let the brain reconnect. I want the brain to reconnect so I can be a better person when I return to work next you. The belief that I can do a better job is with me and I hope I can do that job for others just as others have helped me recover this meagre way so far.