Who’s ever heard of a gold-plated pension pot?

Are you sitting comfortably?

Many of us think of our retirement wealth in terms of the size of our pot. But as my friend Stephen Huppert reminds us, it’s the pension not the pot that allows you to sit in comfort.

Well said that Australian Defined Benefit Actuary!

Chrome will do!


Franke Campus HDTX597B Stainless Steel Floor Standing WC Pan + Black Toilet Seat

costs just under £1000 and you get a 10% discount from victorianplumbing.co.uk if you apply the code “throne10”.

It is an elegant pot to piss in and much more in keeping with the needs of the average UK pensioner.

As with pots , so with pensions, most of us do not expect the gold-plated guarantee of a DB pension any more than we expected our pre-retirement salary to go up by CPI  (let alone a triple lock). Gold plating comes at a cost that most of us would rather be spent on other things. We’ll live with chrome.

That may mean ditching the guarantees and sticking with a functioning pension that delivers the essentials – an income that lasts as long as we do – with the aim of keeping its real value.

Oh and a pension where we don’t have to do our own plumbing – thanks!

The wrong plated pot and the wrong type of pension.

In “Pay’s the issue, but don’t forget public sector pensions” the Times’ David Smith makes this point (though not in potty-mouthed fashion).

Many public sector staff are finding themselves with gold plated pensions but not enough to live on. For many private sector workers there is only a pot, but plenty to piss in it – by way of salary.

Evening things out a bit might be a good long-term policy objective – but with 10 attempts in recent years to make gold-plated pensions a little more affordable, it seems that losing the gold-plate is harder than you’d think!

The Golden Boy was an improvident urchin who’s reckless tending of the stove – caused much of London to burn down.

Most of us – especially the self-employed, seem to think that retirement will take care of itself and like the Golden Boy of Pye Corner, don’t pay much attention to the future  (pension or pot).

Which means many of us won’t be in a position to afford  the Franke Campus HDTX597B Stainless Steel Floor Standing WC Pan + Black Toilet Seat version of a pension at retirement.

You could find yourself with your private income frozen.

But we shouldn’t forget that people have been using outdoor toilets from time immemorial and – with the advent of a proper state pension , you might even make it through old age -without freezing your bits.

About henry tapper

Founder of the Pension PlayPen,, partner of Stella, father of Olly . I am the Pension Plowman
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1 Response to Who’s ever heard of a gold-plated pension pot?

  1. Caroline Instance says:

    I lust after a Japanese multi-function heated water one. One of the most memorable things about my trip to Tokyo (even in the metro!)

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