Tune into Europe‘s latest and greatest talent show where you chose who stays and who goes in Club €.
And without further ado, lets introduce you to our judges tonight…
Mao Tse Bung – Eastern potentate – owner of Africa
Mr George Pumpernickle (III) – veteran American economist and gobshite.
The gorgeous Angelina Meerkat– German temptress with her finger poised on the austerity button
Mr Offshore Banking Business – anonymous banker with nameplates in every good haven.
And nooooow- let’s meet this week’s basket cases.
First up little Johnny Greek singing ” Won’t you spare me a dime”
Oh and it’s all over, Meerkat has pressed her button, the chair has swung and little Johnny has been ejected from Club € without us even having a chance to laugh at Portuguese Pete, Let’sgetliracal and ViralEspana!
And the crowd don’t like it, they’ve paid their taxes to gawp at the humiliation of these Southern European slackers and it isn’t going to happen.
But what’s happening now? – OMG total anarchy! Little Johnny Greek is back wearing his amazing drachmatic dreamcoat, he’s dishing out those drachmas like they’re going out of fashion, he’s setting up a car boot sale.
Mao Tse Bung , George Pumpernickle and Mr Offshore Banking Business are lining up for the fire sale of the century.
Wow- Mikonos just went to Pumpernickle for the keys to his spare private jet. Mao Tse Bung has swapped Sciathos for Mozambique and Mr Offshore Banking Business has just offered Johnny Greek a 20 year world wide tax exemption on all gains made in exchange for the personal favours of Nana Mouskouri.
Looks like Johnny Greek and his family are coming pretty well out of this.
Not so his compatriots.
Word’s reaching us that emigration from Greece is now conditional on Angelina Meerkat’s immigration team. All passports have been cancelled (except for Johnny Greek’s and his family) and any Greek travelling aboard will first have to do the washing up for a decade at one of Angelina’s Beer Cellars.
More dramatic news, Greece is to renamed “Euro Lebensraum” . Timeshares will be offered to all solvent Eurozone members who will have subjugation rights on all things formerly Greek for one month a year.
All overseas creditors including Mao-Tse Bung, Mr Offshore Banking Business and George Pumpernickle III will be offered debt repayment through an allocation of Greek citizens still well nourished enough to act as crew on their superyachts.
Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, guess that’s what it means to go to the wall.
Don’t forget to tune in same time next week to see what will become of Portuguese Pete, Let’sgetliracal and ViralEspana.
The taX factor, the show that gives away sovereignty!
- If It Smells Like Panic, Looks Like Panic, & Sounds Like Panic – It’s Probably Panic (theburningplatform.com)
- EU Leaders Tell Greek Voters To Make ‘The Right Choice’ (eurasiareview.com)
- The Greek Financial Crisis Explained (iainhall.wordpress.com)
- Lagarde Has Little Sympathy For Greeks (huffingtonpost.com)
- How Greece Can Quietly Exit the Euro (businessinsider.com)
- What could happen if Greece exits the Eurozone (torfx.com)
- ‘God help us’: Greek default could be imminent with leaders deadlocked (news.nationalpost.com)
- Germany to the Euro: Drop Dead (theatlantic.com)
- Eurosis Is Back With A Bang: PMIs Collapse, Unemployment Surges To Record (zerohedge.com)