Henry
It is not often that I am caught off my guard but yesterday was one such time. I thought that I was making progress towards a goal which will be of much value to those who want the security and benefit of investment that you get from pensions.
Much work is needed yet but we are determined and working as a group. You can imagine my determination and my love for the people I’m working with and for.
But it is not always possible to keep the focus when it’s needed. I allowed the conversation at an important meeting to be subverted and the result was chaos. I was supposed to be leading a meeting of 12 people but I found myself humiliated by one person who I had thought was on my side.
I found myself close to tears, I had to leave the Teams meeting as I was struggling with breathing. I tried to speak with people but they suggested I speak with them in the morning. I had to put distance between the experience and where I was
I got a train and left my flat . I went to a friends house and there I tried to go to sleep. I didn’t do very well, no sleep past 1pm.
My friend found me awake at 3 am (I was seething with frustration) We ended up chatting till 4.30 am came up. I went back to my computer to work (starting reading the thoughts of one of my actuarial friends which had been left on comments). You can read Byron’s thoughts here.
I saw a text wondering if I was ill. It was from the person I have done most free work since Christmas. His company claims to be caring of me.
Some bright spark had thought that it might be a good idea to send me to have a medical. I turned again to the invitation. I’d waited a few days for this medical invitation. It turned out that my “medical” meant me answering some questions at a distinct time in the future. The company that I was supposed to be a contract worker wanted to show they had done the right thing.
Clearly it is becoming a clever thing to sympathise with people who have been ill. But sympathy enables people to conclude they are better able to call things than the guy whose had problems with a brain haemorrhage (or in my case two).
So it’s my own self belief that can keep me going. As I write , I am staring across the Thames wondering whether to go back to the City. Am I just that creepy guy who had a bike accident and is no good any more? Should we get our medical to use a computer to retire him?
I work over ten hours a day, and I’ve been working 7 days a week recently. I’ve built a team around me, we all know what we are doing , who we are doing this for and we will make it.
And yet, two and a half months after the accident and a month after leaving hospital, I find myself without a job, or a contract and facing some questionnaire to see whether I can work again. I wonder if this is for real, I’ll find out this morning when I phone them back (or should I text?)
Good afternoon, we have been contacted by your employer to arrange a telephone assessment with you and one our occupational nurses. Was you aware of this? If so we do have availability on the below dates and times, Wednesday 5th February and Thursday 6th February If you could let me know by calling back or replying to this text so we can get you booked in. Kind regards Sarah Morrison at healthier workforce – please be aware I don’t look at this phone after 5pm (received @4,44pm)
I am not employed, I am not paid – nor is a consultancy company (I don’t have one), . I am not an employee as Sarah assumes I am. I am simply an unpaid worker.
Having been given a 20% chance of survival in mid November, I am doing my best in late January, will a questionnaire with an occupational nurse. “Was you aware of this” comes the question, If “you” was, we can fit you in on either 5th or 6th In the meantime this texter has no advice for me on my health and my work.
This texter claims to be Sarah Morrison, she works for “healthier workforce”. Is this really how you should treat people whose health is in doubt? Thanks for the text Sarah, I got it at 4.44pm “please be aware that I don’t look at this phone after 5pm” leaves me to work out what to do as I didn’t check my mail to past 5pm.
Perhaps the firm is this one
I suspect that illness is now considered manageable so long as a “healthier work” questionnaire has been undertaken.
I don’t want a firm that manages my mental well-being this way. Nor do I want to work for a firm who considers that this kind of bureaucracy helps the worker. Thanks but I have the NHS who are doing a great job.
I am sure I will find a way forward. I know you aren’t supposed to say how you are feeling. But I am tired and I need support.
Thanks for reading. If you want to cheer me up, put a comment at the end of this blog or email me at henry@agewage.com, I need to get through January!